The holidays have a way of magnifying everything.

Love feels bigger, joy feels louder, loneliness can feel sharper, and our differences, the ones we usually ignore for the sake of our own sanity, are suddenly highlighted and magnified because of tradition. ‘And by golly, this is how we do it because this is how great-granddaddy did it.’

Puh-lease.

We all have differences. We have different belief systems, different traditions, we use different words, we have different ways we celebrate. These differences are with us all year long to sort out. Do not do the sorting when all we should be doing is celebrating in love.

Personally, for me, Christmas is not about Santa and presents. Christmas is rooted in faith and is a time I choose to focus on the one true Gift of Love. I believe God sent His Son, Jesus, to forgive, to heal, and to show us what love looks like in action. His ultimate act of love was sacrificing His perfect body, through death on a cross, so our sinful bodies could be washed clean and we could live in eternity with the Lord. His love does not keep score. His love does not demand agreement. His love his pure, and unconditional.

Here’s the thing. Love is always easier than hate, it is always easier than conflict, and it is always easier than drawing uncrossable lines in the sand.

Always.

You do not have to receive love in order to show it. You do not have to win an argument to be kind. You do not have to agree with someone’s beliefs to treat them with dignity and warmth.

Jesus did not count coup. He did not keep a tally of who deserved the most grace. He did not ask people to clean themselves up before offering compassion. And neither should we.

This season does not have to be a contest. There is room for Christmas, and there is room for Happy Holidays, Happy Hanukkah, or Happy Kwanzaa. Saying one does not erase the other. There is nothing magical about forcing Merry Christmas on a Happy Holidays person. In fact, it is everything Jesus was not. Quit being petty, quit acting arrogant in the name of Jesus. Quit acting small.

Love does not shrink when it is shared more generously.

Meeting people where they are at often leads to conversations that may lead them to where we are at. Love does not shrink when it is shared more generously.

To my religious friends, your faith is not threatened by kindness. It is strengthened by it.

To my friends who celebrate differently, your joy, traditions, and culture matter too.

Family is built through grace. Grace means being present in the lives of people we may be at odds with. It means choosing love when it would be easier to harden our hearts. Yes, there may be extreme variables in any scenario, but I am not addressing those extremes. I am talking to people who can’t be in the same house because of the way they legally vote, legally worship, legally educate, or legally live their lives.

This season, may we lead with love. May we soften instead of sharpen. May we remember that we are all humans, and kindness often begins with simple human decency. Where it goes from there should not be a challenge. It should be a relief.

Merry Christmas.

Happy Holidays.

You can have both.

I love you,

Chrissi Dennis